‘I feel better now that I have told someone’
In my counselling life I have heard words like that so many times. When thoughts are caught up in our heads, going round and round, they acquire more energy, and begin to take more and more headspace. Telling someone about what is going on can help make you more aware of what is going on and able to do something about it.
Telling someone what is going on for you is a first step. Many people feel better after doing this. However this can, and often is, the first step in finding a way of changing your relationships, your environment or behaviour, or growing bigger than whatever is bothering you.
It is quite possible to tell a friend about what is happening for you. Good friends listen and care. However sometimes it can be more helpful to tell someone who isn’t a friend or family member. Some reasons for this may be:
- you know they are having a difficult time too
- you want to talk about a relationship with someone you both know
- you don’t have anyone who will listen without saying ‘ooh, I know how you feel’ and then talk about themselves
- you may want to be heard but get advice instead
Counselling is a professional relationship which focuses on you, gives time to you where you can be heard. Counsellors are trained to listen and to encourage you to explore what you feel, and support you while you do this. It is a way of getting to know yourself and what is going on for you in a safe and supportive environment.